9 Best Joan Rivers Quotes

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Sadly, it is time to lay to rest another icon, Joan Rivers. She will be missed by many but her words will live on. Here are some of our favorite Joan Rivers quotes. They are sure to make you giggle.


  I’m no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.


  The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.


If God wanted me to bend over, he’d have put diamonds on the floor


You know you are middle aged when you’re cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.


 I wish I had a twin, so I could see what I would look like without all of the plastic surgery.


 Looking fifty is great- if you’re sixty.


I’ve never done Jay Leno, but I’m sort of glad about that. He wouldn’t know what to do with someone funny.


Don’t expect praise without envy — until you’re dead.


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