Being a Mom is Hard – The Hardest Day of My Life

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No one ever said parenting was easy, but they also don’t say being a mom is hard. When you step into the world of motherhood and out of the world of freedom and carefree thoughts everything changes. 

That carefree existence you grew accustomed to is suddenly just a memory and you find yourself turning into a mad woman. Maybe it’s lack of sleep or the hundred or so ER visits/calls to the pediatrician. Perhaps it’s the constant uttering of “No, don’t put that up your nose.” “No, don’t eat that. “Put your clothes back on.” “Put the cat down.” … you get the picture, right? We wont even talk about the lack of sleep, showers, privacy or proper nutrition.

Being a mom is hard. The hardest day of my life since becoming a mom was the day I couldn’t find my son. We were at Great Wolf Lodge in North Carolina and he was beyond content playing MagiQuest with his new-found friends. I was there for Reviewer’s Retreat and trusted him to play MagiQuest in the hotel while I went to a mixer (he begged, I gave in.) It was a judgement call on my part. What could happen, right? I made sure he knew my cell phone number. I told him when I would be back and what I expected of him (to stay in the hotel and play his game.) I gave him money for food and drinks in case he wanted a snack while I was gone. He was beyond happy to have this bit of freedom, and I was comfortable trusting him.

Being a Mom is HardBeing a Mom is Hard, so it was great having a little me time to spend hanging out with awesome bloggers and brands. But then I had one of those “feelings.” You may call it mother’s intuition. I headed back to the hotel and sat on a couch in the lobby. I watched kids run by, waving their wands at the checkpoints and completing their quests. I kept waiting to see Dameon run by but knew it could be a while since the MagiQuest “course” was rather large. I kept turning around, thinking I would see him on the other side of where I was facing. Then I told myself he must have went by while I was looking away. 

I sat there for about 20 minutes, waiting to see him run by. Waiting to call him down so we could get dinner. Those 20 minutes went by so slowly. I watched the clock and I watched the kids run past. I still didn’t see him. 

I began to panic as all of these thoughts ran through my head. What if someone had taken him? What if he left the hotel? What if, what if what if. Being a Mom is Hard – especially when you think of all the bad things that could happen.

I ran up and down the stairs for 30 minutes, screaming his name – crying and praying. I stopped every person I saw, describing my son and asking if they had seen him. I asked the kids he was playing with earlier. No one had seen him. 

As I was coming back down I saw a receptionist at the front desk. I ran up to her, wondering why I hadn’t done this initially. Before I could say anything she asked “Are you Amber Killmon?” I nodded, realizing I must have looked insane with my red, tear stained face. “Your son is in the pool area, I’ll call over there for him.” she said. I had never felt a bigger feeling of relief. I could breathe again. He came out of the pool area and I started crying even harder. I hugged him, apologized and thanked everyone profusely. 

Being a Mom is hard…

The decisions we make are the decisions we live with. We have more to think about than ourselves. We have more to lose than before we had children.

Being a Mom is Hard – but not being a mom would be even harder.

 

I am linking up this week at Tales from The Nursery’s Blogging Prompts: Because Prompts are Fun…be sure to join in if you are a blogger!

Comments

  1. says

    Omg I would have panicked too! Did he get bored of the game and decide to go swimming? I’m sure I’ve caused my own parents this kind of worry without realizing it.

    Thanks for linking up with us!

  2. Tahlia B. says

    Can’t even imagine that this could ever happen…but it will, even if just for a split second.

    I am taking a stab at ‘Because Prompts are Fun’ and that’s how I found you. :)

  3. says

    How scary! I am so glad he was safe and sound. It is so hard to know when to let them have the freedom they want.
    It’s an instant you are sick to your stomach fear when you can’t find your child.

  4. says

    That feeling, when you don’t see them, however long it may be, nothing is scarier! I wish the worst didn’t go through our minds, but that is the first thing that it goes to…thank goodness your story turned out okay!

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