I’m not sure what’s wrong with me. I’ve never liked any of my sons teachers, at least not for a full year. Usually it starts off well, but then they do something that makes me want to smack them.
Then
The first teacher was a sweetheart. She was a kindergarten teacher and had the perfect personality for the job, or so I thought. She never raised her voice, always had a smile and was very engaged. I liked her until after Christmas break.
My son doesn’t handle a disrupted schedule well, and Christmas break threw him off track hardcore. Once it was time to go back to school he got upset and defiant. He refused to do any work while there (that was pretty bad in my eyes, since it was kindergarten and consisted mainly of coloring stuff and singing silly songs.) It wasn’t until the end of the school year, in June, when the teacher let me know my son had hit her. Not once, not twice, but an ongoing thing since the return from Christmas break.
I don’t condone violence in any way in my home. I don’t even like John wrestling with the kids as I feel it tells them it’s okay to hit.
The fact that this teacher did nothing to punish or reprimand my son, not even a visit to the office made me mad. The fact that she didn’t let me know as soon as it happened made me want to smack her.
and now…
While my son no longer hits teachers (it finally ended after 1st grade), he still has problems with doing his work and taking direction. We were forced to enroll him in counseling (the school board told us if we didn’t he would be expelled) in 1st grade, and he’s been going ever since. He’s since been diagnosed with Asperger’s and Dyslexia. We share the diagnosis with each new teacher, every year.
When the 2nd grade teacher made the comment “He doesn’t look autistic.” I wanted to slap her.
Every teacher tells us they appreciate the insight, but they can not provide any special treatment. They know how to handle children with these disabilities. It’s not their first rodeo. And a few week into the school year we get a call telling us the same things: he’s not doing his work, he grows very irritable, he has problems interacting with other children.
This has made me want to smack each and every one of them.
This year, I went in-depth with his teacher at Open House. She was new and not familiar with my son (all of the previous teachers knew him.) I explained that there would be times he needed a little nudge, or 1 on 1 help. She assured me that’s not a problem. I told her that he functions best when given a few minutes between tasks, and doesn’t do well when given more than one assignment at a time. She told me that was fine. I advised her that she should call me if there are ever any problems. She wrote down my number.
That One Single Straw
My son missed his second week of 4th grade due to Strep Throat. It was horrible timing, but what could we do? We attempted to get his make-up work while he was out, but his teacher said it would be best to wait on that. When it was finally time for him to go back we thought it would be okay. There were no overwhelming emotions or negative feelings about going back. I got my hopes up.
After lunch time I answered my phone and it was the school secretary. She said, “We have Dameon here in the office, we need you to come in.”
Oh dear.
That was a phone call I was all too familiar with, and I headed to the school. I assumed the transition back to school was a tough one for him and the teacher just couldn’t handle it. But that wasn’t the case at all.
Apparently, the teacher has “her own way of handling make-up work.”
Her way is to make the children do the work during recess. She sat my son down with a 3 inch stack of papers and told him to get started while the other kids went out to play. This made my son feel like he was being punished and it didn’t go over well at all. He had tried to hold it together, but quickly became overwhelmed and broke down. She sent him to the office.
I thanked the secretary for calling me, she told me his teacher was new and that she would talk to her about how to best help my son. I took my son home and did everything I could to convince him this wasn’t going to be a bad school year and his teacher would get better.
I know it may not be the teachers fault’s completely, but that doesn’t make it any less upsetting for me (or my son.) I would never, ever resort to violence – it’s just one of those urges I get when someone upsets or endangers my child.
About Amber Killmon
I have been there so many times. It started when my oldest daughter went to kindergarten and the teacher would scream at her about ridiculous things like my daughter did not want to sit on the (seriously dusty and dirty) tile floor for circle time and would hesitate and try to brush the dirt out of the way before sitting. So, I pulled her out and put her into private school, but when I had to quit working due to a high risk pregnancy, I could no longer afford it. For 1st grade, I sent her back to public school where she is bullied mercilessly. I spoke to the teacher, the principal and the guidance counselor. I asked them to watch extra close. One day my daughter came home with her clothes torn and her hands bloody from where kids had pounced on her at recess. When I call the teacher she didn’t believe it. So, I kept her home the next day and the day after I went to the school to pick up her things because I was pulling her out to homeschool and her supplies were all missing. I spoke to the teacher who told me with a straight face that it wasn’t possible that someone had stolen them- I didn’t just want to smack her- I wanted to set her head on fire! My next child, my son, is autistic, adhd and has learning delays. Preschool was great for him- regular school not so much. I even lobbied for him to be assigned to the teacher that had their own mentally challenged child, because I thought she would better understand the various quirks of teaching my son. Wrong! She was very harsh and punitive and I was called to the school constantly. I tried everything. The final straw came when the guidance counselor and principal and I had a meeting and the counselor said that my son’s behavior was just for attention and that he knew my son was just acting bad because he knew he could get away with it. That he didn’t believe in all that adhd nonsense. I kind of slipped into a fugue state where I was fantasizing about tearing all of his wiry hair out. I now homeschool all 3 of my children and have for the past 3 years. You can’t imagine how much less stressful my life is (not to mention I have far fewer fantasies of injuring the idiot drones at the school) without a bunch of uncaring, clueless fools in the public education system making my family miserable each day. I hope you can find a solution to your problem.
I feel you! We all have those mama bear instincts. I took my 3 yo out of one preschool because the director yelled at her. This was a school whose policy handbook spelled out that they used positive discipline. It made me just want to slash their tires.We had just moved here and my daughter was having a rough time with the changes, plus she is already high needs. We talked about this in depth before I enrolled her. But from day one all I got was complaints. They even isolated my child in the foyer during nap time because she wouldn’t sleep. I felt the director and teachers had a negative attitude toward my child and children do pick up on these things. Her acting out was a direct reflection of their attitude in my opinion. The new preschool is so much better, nothing but positive feedback.