Tweens is the period in a child’s life where he is too old to be considered as child but still too young to be classified as an adult. In a child’s life, this is one of the most challenging stages as they are full of questions and confusions as they deal with hormonal changes and their preparation towards their independence.
This period can also pose as a big challenge for a parent as it can also be difficult on their part to deal with the issues of their tweens. We can often hear most parents complain about their child talking back to them, is unmotivated in school, and a host of other issues that drive parents crazy.
Imagine how chaotic a life it would be living in a house with a frustrated parent and a kid full of angst. So in order to prevent this from happening, here are a few tips to have Happy Tweens (and happy parents too):
Parents should not take it personally
Since the parents are the ones who are always on the way of their kids as parents set limits and restrictions for them, they are an easy target every time their tweens blow up. Parents should remember not to take it personally. The kid may seem to look like he is holding too much grudge and anger for his parent, but parents must remember that their kids are not doing it purposely. Kids during this period are undergoing a lot of changes and adjustment which might be difficult for them to grasp and it is the parents’ duty to understand their kids during this situation which will help them on how they will respond to their kids’ anger and angst.
Be the Loving Parent
Do not answer anger with anger. Show kindness and be the loving parent. If your kid answers back, take a deep breath and instead show compassion.
Respect their Privacy
Since they are starting their road to independence, they want to mark their domain, hence they want privacy. Their room is where their domain reigns and be mindful of that territory. Do not just barge in to their room. Knock and wait for an answer before you enter. This way, you are showing them that you respect their territory and in time, your kids will learn how to reciprocate that respect.
Do something together
There are a lot of discount shopping site now where you can get promos for hotel accommodations, classes for cooking or photography and even promos for various restaurants, that you may want to try out so you can do an activity together as a family even if you are on a budget.
Take time to listen to your kids
If your tween is in the mood to talk, give your 100% attention and take time to talk with them. A trivial problem to parents may already be a life and death situation for this tweeners and so it is worth it to listen to them so parents can understand what they are going through.
Give them independence
This is a stage in their life when they want to test their independence so parents should learn to let go a bit by letting them decide for themselves simple things like choosing the shoes that they want to wear or the bag that they want to buy for school.
The key here is for parents to understand this developmental stage as this will help them in dealing with their tweens’ behavior. Remember that this is just a stage and it too will pass. So give your tweens a chance to adjust and with the parents’ support and love, in no time, your tantrum throwing tween will be a mature adult that their parents will be proud of.